The Doctor Is a Quack

Simon’s profile was impressive.  It didn’t hurt that he listed his profession as a medical doctor and that his pictures showed an attractive-looking man for being of “a certain age group.”  He appeared to be a family man.  He was depicted as finding enjoyment in being with his children and grandchildren.  Even showing an affection for animals.  Perhaps this was “my man!”

We met at my favorite in town restaurant.  I felt a tingle of excitement.  This could be him!!!  I happened to look up as a bent little old man shuffled through the door.  He somewhat resembled the doctor I was to meet.  My heart felt like it was in my throat.  With a grimace for a smile, this very senior-looking gentleman took a seat beside me in the booth.  He leaned into me as if he were trying to get inside of me.  I moved away and asked him to sit on the opposite side.  With an injured look he did so.

We ordered our meals.  One would think that being in the company of a medical doctor, that the conversation would be somewhat intelligent and enlightening.  Instead, I listened to sexual quips throughout the date.  I could tell the doctor had a wit and sense of humor, but he was covering the wrong topic, especially for an introductory meeting.  I became disgusted.  He was certainly no Don Juan.

I was absolutely astounded when Simon drank from my wine glass.  He stated he wanted a taste of wine choice.  He also ate off my plate.  These were inappropriate behaviors for our level of familiarity.  When it came time for the bill, Simon informed me that he had left his wallet in the car.  I agreed to cover it.  I then drove him to his automobile so he could retrieve his wallet and reimburse me.  Instead of handing me the repayment through my open window, he returned to the passenger seat of my car, paid me, and proceeded to move toward me for what he termed “a little make-out” session.  Needless to say.  I turned him down and thanked him for lunch.  He might be a medical doctor, but he was a quack when it came to romance.  We parted, never to meet again, my choice.




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