Russ and I decided to meet for dinner. Arriving early at the “designated restaurant,” I was seated in the intimate setting of the lounge awaiting a table. I was just beginning to relax and enjoy the quietude. The lowered lights added a touch of romance to the ambience. Somewhere in the background I heard a male voice booming, “You look great! How do I look?” I came to attention when I realized people around me were staring. Looking in the direction of the booming voice, I realized the tall, pudgy gentleman with his pants pulled to his chest was Russ, my date. I could feel my face turning red with heat. Quickly, I raised a hand to summon him in my direction. I do not care to be made the unsuspecting center of attention. He seemed totally oblivious to the laughter and the stares. Fortunately, our table was ready by then. I hurriedly made my way to the dining room well in the lead.
After we had given the server our dinner orders, we began to converse. Russ told me of his career in the Marines and of the Vietnam War in which he had so proudly served. Listening to his experiences in the war and during his military career, I began to think the evening was going along just fine. That is until he began to list and describe his many infirmities. He informed me of his PTSD, varicose veins, new false teeth received from the VA, and heart issues. He also had a cataract in one eye. In the other, he wore a prosthetic one. I shared that my grandfather had also worn one, so it did not seem odd in the least. What did seem odd to me was how he could see to drive at all. When he laughingly described how he occasionally exchanged his regular prosthetic eye for one that had the Marine insignia on it when he attended Marine events, I was taken aback. I had never heard or known of anyone to do so. This seemed a bit “over the top.”
Russ invited me, in what I had come to think of as his “rather pugnacious manner,” to a Marine formal affair as his date. When I informed him, I would be out of town at that time, he could not understand why I would give up the Marine formal for other plans. This made me feel a bit uncomfortable and slightly bullied. At this point he suddenly looked across from me and enthusiastically stated, “You are so cute, I could come over there and kiss you!” I began to panic and tried to remain calm. I answered with a smile I did not feel, “Thank you but that isn’t necessary.” I don’t know how I managed to remain through dinner. At some point during the meal, good old Russ further informed me that he could not wait to have sex again. It was all I could do to keep from jumping up from the table and running away. He then realized how he sounded and apologized. He meant after we had gotten to know one another better. There was no way we were going to get to know one another better! Before I could leave, he grabbed me by both arms and attempted to plant a big juicy one. I shoved him away, called good night, and quickly made for my car. Fortunately, my car was on the other side of the parking lot. “Little boy blue had blown his horn” and he’d also blown his chance with me.
A Night Not to Remember
Call me old fashioned, naïve, or just plain stupid but I have always believed in being polite and welcoming to people, sharing an exchange of an acceptable kindness. To me, that meant being self-aware and possessing a certain understanding of how one is coming off to others. My coffee filters are more effective than his social one. He possessed neither social grace nor filter. I only made one attempt to say something about him perhaps limiting the details he shared about himself. He looked at me suspiciously and asked, “Why? What’s wrong?” There was a hint of hostility in his voice. I was still feeling somewhat burned out from dealing with the raging bull, so I didn’t attempt to further his social awareness. He was clueless.
I concluded that my first two failed attempts at finding my “forever person” were part of the learning curve. Yes, they had been quite trying, but I am not faint of heart. I believed in pressing on. Perhaps the third try would be the charm.
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