A Certain Smile

Bob strolled into the restaurant as if he owned the place.  His eyes crinkled in pleasure as he greeted me with an easy smile.  Though he was not exactly handsome, he exuded sex appeal.  Ambling over to my table, he bent down and gently pressed his forehead to mine, then presented me with a lovely nosegay of violets.  I was in love.  He held me spellbound throughout dinner with his charming smile and lively conversation.  Throughout the evening, he kept telling me that he wanted to kiss me.  I melted like butter.  I began to wonder whether this was the special someone for whom I had been seeking.  I certainly hoped so.  After several glasses of wine, I began to believe it.

We decided to walk around the town after our meal.  Hand in hand, we gazed into the shop windows laughing and remarking on the various displays.  Time flew by and he walked me to my car.  I did not want the evening to end, so I suggested we go to my place for coffee.  Of course, I should not have even considered such an invitation that soon in the game.  However, I had enjoyed a few glasses of wine and was feeling giddy with confidence and trust.  I began to think of a possible future with this charmer.  After all, he seemed such a perfect gentleman.

The Nature of the Beast

I set the coffee to brew, while Bob poked around examining and commenting on various aspects of my home.  As I took a seat on the couch, he came and sat beside me.  Placing an arm about my shoulders he drew me close.  I was ready for a sweet kiss but instead found myself on my back with Bob on top of me.  He began to whisper what were most likely meant to be “sweet nothings” in my ear.  Fear initially overwhelmed me, but anger soon replaced it, anger at my stupid naivete.  With herculean strength I pushed him off me.  He landed on his back on the floor.  The look on his face registered surprise and pain.  “My back!”  He groaned as he picked himself up off the floor.  “You need to leave!  Right now!”  I cried.  I was so angry, I forgot to be afraid.  Since he appeared to be in one piece, and there seemed to be no need for medical assistance, I rushed him out the door, slamming it in his face.  He limped to his car and drove off.  I decided there was no need to call the police once I saw him leave.  It took me quite a while to stop shaking in anger and fear.  Mostly, I felt anger toward my appalling naivete toward the nature of the beast.

Fair and Balanced

There are times when it is difficult to remain strong and resolute.  Time when common sense and purpose are nearly forgotten.  Obviously, I was unwise to invite Bob to coffee since we had only just been acquainted for a few hours.  It was fortunate that he left without consequence.  I allowed myself to believe that I had met someone with whom I might have a chance and was doing everything to ensure the start of something special.  I was tired of kissing frogs and was ready for a prince.  However, a prince Bob was not.  He was a frog in a prince’s clothing.  The experience is a reminder of how easy it can be to give in to feelings of loneliness and self-doubt.  I have struggled to maintain emotional strength and independence.  It would be so easy to let down my guard and try to fit a “square peg into a round hole.”  I had done that with my marriage and know deep in my heart that the forever person must be a fit emotionally, spiritually, and physically.




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